confused

Icant figure out why I cant post using ,my blogspot account and cant enable cookies - this is crazy !

‎15 years ago this day , a special bird was meant to fly away ...

I remember it like it was 20 minutes ago ... all hell began at approximately 330 pm when the New Jersey Police called askijng if they could speak to my dad .. so I hastly gave them my dad 's office Number .. then at 6 pm Dad walks in my room and turns off the tv while Mariah Carey was singing "Hero " from my new concert video I had gotten for my birthday in 1996 ... I dont remember the exact words , but he basically said " Uncle Richard Killed himself this morning " . Total shock . at the time I didnt even understand the term suicide really and all the mental im balances that lead up to it . then it got even worse as all my family made the trip up to Hagerstown . its interestingly that night I wanted to watch MY Girl .. so Al and I did kinda . I guess it was the first time I had an excuse to watch it in hopes it would give me strength . and of course it did . then the next week was all filled with trying and sad times . I went up to Jersey on Sunday with Marty and Jim .. this was a good but not the best circumstance to get to know my new uncle . but they were so sweet to me . they played Hootie and the Blowifish in their car just for me . ( this was before HAnson , so Hootie was my favorite band at the time . ) and I remember taking simply my tape of Mariahs carey "Any time you Need a Friend " . that really helped calm me .

but it took 8 months before that next fateful trip to Jersey would make it ok . More precisely HAnson as a band would make it ok . I truly Believe Dicky put Taylor in my life because Taylor h as done exactly what he could never do - be his own boss and musician . And Now Taylor and I have the same Kind of connection Richard and I Had the last year of his life - simply Loving and pushing/encouraging each other foward .. its a gift I could never replace from both of them .

and Side Note -- Carry you there is for our Middle Name ! :)

4 days til my birthday !

well nothing much going on my way ! and 46 days til I see Hanson for the 17th time ! :) cant wait !